Baltimore Glossary

Bandwagon – #1 insult used by Baltimore fans when they get into a verbal altercation with a fan of any of the following teams: Patriots, Steelers, Red Sox, Yankees. There is no comeback to this insult.

“Nice Red Sox hat. How’s the bandwagon treating you?”

Beach – A getaway destination on the Atlantic Ocean ranging from Ocean City, MD up to Lewes, DE.  (See also: Shore)

Bohtini – (aka Baltimore margarita) A Natty Boh served in a chilled glass with Old Bay around the rim.

BSB – Baltimore Sports Bar

Buckle – A disappointing action by someone in a critical situation.

Two Ravens fans travel to Florida for a winter weekend away.  Sunday morning arrives…

Fan #1: Darn, I forgot my Ray Rice jersey at home.

Fan #2: What a buckle! People will probably assume you’re a bandwagon Patriots fan.

Cot – doing anything that is not consistent with the true spirit of Baltimore or the Baltimore lifestyle

“Dude, don’t lie to me, I saw you cotting with that slampig at the bar last night.  Do not cot!”

County refers to all of Baltimore county but true Baltimore bros are really only referring to Towson and the I-83/York Road corridor.

“I am feeling a county night.  I hear Damien Wolfe is playing at Hightops.”

DFMO – Dance floor make out.  Often occurs while you are stalking.

Baltimore Bro 1: Did you hook up last night?

Baltimore Bro 2: Just a DFMO with a casual zero at Stalking Horse.

Duz – One dozen crabs.  Also, if you cannot eat at least one dozen crabs in a sitting this blog is not for you.

“Pass me a Boh and a mallet, I am about get my duz on.”

Eskimo Brothers – relationship that connects almost every baltimore prep school bro

Flacc Off to experience an explosive discharge of arousal that occurs when watching Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco effortlessly throw a perfect spiral 40-yard pass to Derrick Mason or Mark Clayton.

“What a pass! excuse me while I go into my room and Flacc-off.”

Jabroni/Meat Head/Meat Stick/Guido/etc. – A guy seen out at a bar wearing any or all of the following: faded jeans, t-shirts at lease one size too small, t-shirts with the words “Affliction” or “Tap-Out” on them, cargo shorts, button down shirts with only one button closed, gold chains.  Other signs: apparent steroid use, hair gel, tattoos.

Little League – Baseball league for kids. Not to be confused with “rec league,” which is the term for lacrosse leagues.

MICA Girls – Art students who are often seen in neon shades and skinny jeans gliding gracefully around the streets of Baltimore on fixed gear bikes.  These girls are not susceptible to many of the classic Baltimore bro flirtation moves, such as: grinding, taking shots, reminiscing about high school lax, and “accidentally” dropping your 6 figure trust fund statement mid-conversation.

North – Pennsylvania and above.

Ofilf – Orioles fan I’d like to f**k

“Check out that ofilf a few rows ahead of us.  Hopefully we see her at Pickles after the game.”

OPACY – A common abbreviation of Oriole Park at Camden Yards.  (See also, The Yard)

Preakness – Formerly awesome Baltimore horse racing tradition. Noted for high amounts of alcohol consumption, full beer cans being thrown into crowds, and inter-mingling of prep school and white trash youth. Recently, Preakness has disallowed alcohol, meaning it is not longer cool to talk about or attend.

Pickles – the best bar to go to before and after an O’s game, not recommended on non-gamedays. (see above)

Rec League – Lacrosse league for kids.

Guy 1: yeah bro, I ‘m the bomb at lax!! I was MVP of my little league team in 7th grade.

Guy 2: You obviously suck at lacrosse and are probably from either Pennsylvania or Florida. I bet you can’t even switch hands. Also, in Maryland we don’t wear a diamond earring under our helmets.

Rfilf – see Ofilf, but in football season

Rice Paddies – Just as he is about to go down, Ray Rice will extend his forearm and plant his hand on a Rice Paddy, thereby propelling himself forward without letting his knee touch the ground. Rice Paddies are invisible to both defenders and fans alike.

Oh no! Ray Rice is about to get tackled for a loss. Wait– he just crouched down, balanced himself on a Rice Paddy and eluded 8 defenders. First Down!!!

Ruit – aka Beiruit. 10 cups, 3 beers, no bounce shots

ShoreA getaway destination on the Chesapeake Bay in MD.  Please remember to distinguish between shore and beach. Not, under any circumstances, to be confused with the Jersey Shore.

Spotlight – A symbol of recognition from one Orioles fan to another where the arm is extended over the head and an the open palm is thrust in the direction of the other Orioles fan.

“Jay Pay great catch.  Now give us a spotlight!”

South – Virginia and below

SNGF – Sunday Night Girlfriend.  (AKA snuggie, snug-piece)

“Tough loss for the Ravens, I am definitely going to need a snuggie and a nightcap if I plan on getting any sleep tonight.”

Snoball – A unique Baltimore summer tradition of chunky shaved ice covered in flavored syrup.  Best served out of a shack on the side of the road.  The three most Baltimore flavors to order: skylight, egg custard, watermelon.  Marshmallow topping optional.  Please do not be fooled by impostors offering flaky shave ice, hawaiin ice, italian ice, or any other type of ice.  Ordering such things would be a big-time buckle.

Snoop – the extremely gangster female character from The Wire.  Not the rapper.

“I love the part in The Wire when Snoop shoots those two New Yorkers slingin’ on her turf because they did not know the morning DJ on 92Q.”

Surhoff – A service you receive from an Ofilf after an Orioles’s win

“Great win for the O’s, now it’s time to head back to Fed Hill to find an ofilf that will surhoff me.”

Stalk – to attend a dance party at the Stalking Horse bar in Federal Hill

“None of the girls at this bar are feeling us, guess we better go stalk it up.”

The Yard – Camden Yards

“It’s 6:45, we better crush our Bohs and head over to the Yard if we want to yell ‘O’ during the anthem.”

“Where did you go to school?” – A question most Americans associate with the college he or she attended, but any true Baltimorean knows this question applies to the private high school you attended in the Greater-Baltimore area.

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