Author Archives: hampsterdam

Fairweather Fandom

There’s going to be a “Situation” in Baltimore Soon

On Thursday, February 11th, the legendary Mike Sorrentino, better known as “The Situation,” from MTV’s “Jersey Shore” will be making an appearance at Mad River Bar & Grill in Federal Hill. And by “appearance,” I mean, ordering lots of Jagr Bombs, showing everyone his abdominal muscles, and getting rejected by no fewer than 30 girls before, finally, bringing two ugly girls home who have no intention of hooking up with him. But, to be honest, he probably has too many otha tings goin on to really even care about dat anyways, the point is dat he coulda hooked up wit dem had he wanted to. It’s really their loss.

Bohs and O’s strongly encourages our readers to show up to this event. Not only is it a chance to see a reality celebrity, but it’s also a great opportunity to make fun of a reality celebrity. We haven’t seen such a pathetic and wildly delusional character as The Situation since the critically acclaimed Fox series, Paradise Hotel.

Bohs and O’s actually tried to start a twitter war with the Situation, but he was too much of a wuss to take on our superior intellects, not to mention biceps.

Become a fan of Bernard Pollard

Hero

As the saying goes, “To injure Tom Brady is human, to injure Tom Brady and Wes Welker, divine.”

http://www.facebook.com/#/pages/Bernard-Pollard/46199547156?ref=ts

ALERT: Turp’s a Phony Baltimore Sports Bar

Last night I decided to pay Turp’s sports bar a visit. If you read my previous review of Turp’s, you know that I found it to be a great new spot in Mt. Vernon. The beers and food are delicious and cheap and there is Baltimore sports paraphernalia all over.

I’ve had my heart broken before and do not consider myself naive, thus I was aware from the start of Turp’s suspect credibility as a true Baltimore Sports Bar–which I will henceforth abbreviate as BSB. After all, a real BSB acquires the pieces of local lore and sports mementos that hang on its walls over many years of dedication to the city. Turp’s, by contrast, seems to have taken what I would call the “Applebee’s Approach,” and just bought a ton of Baltimore sports stuff in one fell swoop to appear to be legit. For a while, I have been content to give Turp’s the benefit of the doubt in terms of the bar’s intentions  and still consider it a BSB.

Does this look like a Raven to you?

However, last night all that changed. I was sipping my beer in one of the booths, when who should I see but the owner, John Turpin himself. As I approached with the intention  of buying him a cold Boh, I noticed that he was wearing a hat with the NFL emblem on the back. Even without being able to see the logo on the front, something–call it an innate  sense of Baltimore authenticity–told me that this was no Ravens hat. As Turpin turned, I began to see what could only  be described as a sideways blue and silver triangle which, as he continued turning, revealed itself to be none other that the star of the Dallas Cowboys!

How is one supposed to enjoy a BSB when the owner of said bar is practically flaunting his lack of allegiance to Baltimore sports?! I don’t know if Turpin is a Cowboys fan or if he is a Ravens fan that just thinks the Cowboys “have a cool logo” but both are equally offensive in my book. What makes it even worse is the illustration of John Turpin in the menu, which depicts him wearing an Orioles jersey and drinking a Natty Boh. Shouldn’t that be a Rangers jersey and a Shiner Bock in his hand?

I won’t be boycotting Turp’s since the value is too good, but I can’t help but feel disillusioned since discovering that it is likely operated, not by a Baltimore Sports fan, but a phony Dallas fan. As a Mount Vernon resident with few options for quality sports bars, I beg you, John Turpin, to make a grown up decision, apologize to everyone, and TAKE OFF YOUR HAT!

Making fun of Boston fans

Genius

Our Competition

At this point, any questions about Tom Brady’s douchiness can be put to rest:

Our Competion

Thank god Joe Flacco doesn't wear graphic tee's from Hot Topic.