It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas in Baltimore. The Washington Monument has been lit, 34th street is bustling, Santa has returned to the Inner Harbor, the trains are running at Kenilworth, and the Ravens have another huge game with the Steelers. The only thing that is strange is the two feet of snow outside my window that will provide Baltimore her first white Christmas in several years.
It is about this time that one needs to start thinking about his or her Christmas wish list. What am I going to ask Santa for this year? Every year I always ask for the same thing, an Orioles World Series. I guess I must have been on the naughty list for the past 13 years because each year I get about the exact opposite. Or maybe Santa does not have control over Major League Baseall outcomes. Now that I think about it how could he? There is no way those little douches in Boston have been good enough to receive anything but coal. If I can’t have an Orioles’ World Series than I guess I will settle for a Ravens Superbowl. But maybe that is beyond Santa’s control as well. Could I just have a win over the Steelers on Sunday? That’s not asking too much is it? Oh and as a stocking stuffer I will take the Baltimore Grand Prix.
For those of you who are looking for something a little more tangible to put under the tree for your Baltimore bro you have come to the right place. Now what you get them depends on how nice they have been this year. Did he continue going to Orioles games in September or did you catch him trying on a Red Sox hat at the mall? Is he always clutching a Natty Boh at the bar or did you catch him ordering a Miller Lite because it has fewer calories? Is he always taking advantage of any opportunity to Stalk or did you catch him trying out his new graphic tee at Mad River?
- Ravens/Orioles tickets
- The Wire DVD collection/Cal Ripken’s greatest games DVD collection
- A six-pack of Natty Boh or any Natty Boh themed merchandise
- A gift certificate for a duz at his favorite crab house along with an Orioles themed mallet
- A Maryland flag
- A Red Sox mech string backpack
- Coal out of Western PA’s deepest and filthiest mines
- A gift certificate to Sullivan’s Suckhouse
- Call his SNGF and tell her that he wants to get serious
- The Steelers Superbowl DVD collection
Evaluate his behavior and choose appropriately. Please post all of your Baltimore Christmas wishes as well. Santa is an avid reader and posting will help your chances of getting your wish. Merry Christmas Baltimore!