The Noblemen

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a nobleman?  Walk into Nobles bar on Charles Street in Federal Hill, and you may just find out.

I would like to start by saying that Nobles is incredibly underrated.  It is almost never mentioned among the standard list of Fed Hill bars (MaGerk’s, Mother’s, Ryleigh’s, Ropewalk, ect…).  It is only about a half block up Charles Street from MaGerk’s and is a great place to go when the other bars are packed.  Nobles has four bars inside and one rarely waits more than few seconds to get a beer.  (This is not to say that Nobles is always empty.  In fact, it can get very hopping on Friday and Saturday nights.) There are lots of TVs for watching the O’s, Ravens, Terps and a large dance floor perfect for those of us whose noodling is so pronounced that it needs a little more elbow room.  And yes, Bohs are $2.  The inside of Nobles will make any Baltimore Bro feel right at home because the interior décor closely resembles a frat house.

Now that I have described the scene, please allow me to discuss with you the theory that the Bohs and O’s team has developed about being a Nobleman at Nobles.  While the interior décor of Nobles may be fratty, the clientele is far from.  The guys who frequent this bar have a style quite different from your average Bohs and O’s reader.  They wear a lot of cargo shorts, tight graphic tees, and gel in their hair.  I am not saying that there is anything wrong with this style, but it does provide the Baltimore bro with a niche that he would not enjoy at a Ryleigh’s or a Ropewalk.  In your Brooks Brothers shirt and khakis you will stand out like and Orioles fan at Camden Yards when the Red Sox are in town.  This however, in the experience of the Bohs and O’s team, has proven to be a good thing.

Inevitably there are going to be some girls at the bar that are not into the cargo shorts and graphic tee look.  They are going to be the girls that were dragged along by their friends, but would really rather be at Ropewalk.  While her friend is on the dance floor with the roided our giant she is chasing, our damsel in distress will be looking for a classy looking Baltimore bro to sidle up next to at the bar.  (You could also attempt to approach her on the dance floor, but our experience has shown that it is more effective to casually hang out at the bar with some other bros sipping a Boh.)  When she approaches, offer to buy her a shot and then strike up a conversation, picking a topic that demonstrates that you are indeed a Baltimore bro.

At this point, my fellow readers, to her you will look like a nobleman amongst peasants.  This will be true even if your status at a Baltimore bro is lacking.  At most other bars you would just be one more Baltimore bro, but at Nobles you are a nobleman.


4 responses to “The Noblemen

  1. BmoreYoungRepub

    I’ve got to try this out! I bet there are some fine little slam pieces there just waiting to be saved. I am thinking that it will be easy to get them back to my place because I will just be like, “Babe, do you really want to take cab back to your friend’s boyfriends condo in White Marsh or do you want to see the sun rise from my rooftop deck.”

  2. One thing I forgot to mention is to not be worried about getting beat up by the huge dudes in bedazzled t-shirts because they only see you as a scrawny little prep and do not view you as a threat.

  3. yeah, be more worried about getting beat up by their girlfriends.

  4. I would also like to point out that the bar food at nobles is top notch. This only comes into play when you are participating in their excellent happy hour on friday. I believe it is something like $15 all you can drink from 6-9. I may be off slightly but it is clearly a deal

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