A Baltimore Bro in Mt. Vernon

Last week I finally allowed our very own hipster correspondent and Mt. Vernon resident, h1psterinbalto, to show me around his hood.  We started at his local watering whole, Turp’s.  Turp’s was the perfect venue to ease me into hipsterdom.  I felt very comfortable in the sports bar setting.  There were plenty of Natty Bohs do be had and highlights of the Terps’ loss for me to drown.  I was a little dissapointed with the waitresses who Hampsterdam had claimed were quite hot.  I guess they were 1’s, but not worth commenting on in a blog post.  And they did not know to save me the cap of my Boh so I could solve the riddle (casually making them zeros).  Overall it was still a good first impression of Mt. Vernon and this Baltimore bro was ready to dive in even deeper.   H1psterinbalto wasted no time in doing just that.  Our next stop was right in the heart of hipsterdom, Brewer’s Art.

I stepped inside Brewer’s Art into what looked like an antique dining room.  There were hipsters everywhere jibberjabbering about the latest foreign film playing at the Charles and the most recent exhibit at the Visionary Arts Museum.  There were a lot of cute, trendy, hipster girls just waiting for someone like avid reader, BmoreYoungRepub, to come cry on their shoulder.  The drink menu offered a wide variety of in-house microbrews, all of which went well with their selection of Natty Bohs.  Their is a dark and dusty downstairs basement perfect for a Baltimore bro to avoid being seen in his tight jeans and graphic tee cuddle up with his Mt. Vernon love affair.  I know hampsterdam was involved in an incident at this bar with some hipsters a few months ago but I found everyone to be very accepting of a Baltimore bro such as myself.  I definitely felt more comfortable mingling with hipsters that I do getting bumped into by greasy d-bags at Mad River.

I am grateful to h1psterinbalto for showing me this side of town.  It was both an enjoyable and educational experience.  I look forward to returning soon.  To all of the Boh drinking bros in Federal Hill and Canton don’t count out Mt. Vernon as a great place to spend an evening.  I also plan on taking h1psterinbalto’s recommendation on taking a girl out in Mt. Vernon to show her my cultured side.


2 responses to “A Baltimore Bro in Mt. Vernon

  1. bro, i must agree that the waitresses were subpar on that particular outing but I have seen some extremely “fly honeys” on other nights that would be anything but “casually” 1’s. The night you came down featured a number of 5-6’s, whereas my blog post was referring to the scene on a thursday night, where a 7 would have been embarrassed to even show her face. Which leads me to my next point: the binary scale is great for creeping around bars in the a.m., but when evaluating eye candy such as waitresses and strippers, a simple 1-10 scale, possibly with decimals, is far superior.

  2. I have very mixed feelings about Brewers Art. I love their beer and food but the people there have always been assholes towards me and my bros. I went there to enjoy a nice Resurrection Ale following a great dinner at the Prime Rib(a fantastic restaurant in its own right) and was called a “suit” by the bitchy waitress because I was wearing the required sports coat from dinner. I don’t care how good or strong the beer is at a particular place I have no tolerance for being heckled by waitstaff when supporting their unstable bohemian lifestyles

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