The Binary Scale

Quick, on a scale of 1 to 10 who would you rate higher, Heidi Klum, or Seina Miller?

Trick question, it doesn’t matter. In the grand scheme of things the difference between a 9 and a 10, is minimal, and further more, I would argue that the difference between a 5 and a 10 is just as inconsequential. At the end of the night, when time is running out, only one thing matters. Would you take her home? This question only has two possible answers, yes, or no. Why then do we decide to torment ourselves with a scale that has ten possible options?

I would like to introduce everyone to a scale that reflects more clearly the approach that I have found myself taking for the past few months. I call it the Binary Scale. It is my belief that this scale more accurately reflects the values that I am looking for during a night out on the town. With the Binary Scale there is no debating the difference between a one and a ten, there are simply two options available. The girl in question is either a one, yes I would take her home, or a zero, no way in hell.

This settles many dilemmas that gentlemen face at bars. If I were to approach a friend at Stalking Horse and ask him what he thinks about a particular female I might be interested in, and he responds that she is a seven what does that mean to me? How am I supposed to know what he is taking into consideration there? However, if my friend says without hesitation, “one” I know that it would be perfectly fine to go ahead with the conquest.

I have run this new scale by some of the girls that I consistently hang out with and they had mentioned that it was far too crude and hurtful to be used. Their theory was that if someone was a zero it could crush their spirits. Yet this statement in my opinion was just uneducated. It is a scientific fact that all men would do about 75% of the female population. That being said most of the girls that I see out I would say were ones, the zeros that I do see, I try not to associate with. Keeping that in mind, do you think a girl would rather be told that she was a five on a good day, or a one almost everyday? Exactly! While a small percentage of girls may be offended with this scale I think that it helps out the vast majority of both guys and girls achieve their ultimate weekend goals.

So to the gentlemen out there, and even the ladies, I urge you to abandon the outdated ten point scale and migrate to the more efficient Binary Scale. In the end it will only help you out

– Contributor MP


6 responses to “The Binary Scale

  1. what does this have to do with baltimore?? I read this blog to get my fill of baltimore information and pride, this is the dumbest post I have read on this blog, don’t want to hear your justification for banging slam pigs, it happens when you’re drunk

  2. Sorry you feel that way, Rolandparker. As a former resident of the great Roland Park neighborhood, I would ask that you bear with us as we try new blog ideas. We want Bohs and O’s to be a blog about all things Baltimore, including the all too common occurrence of “bangin slam pigs.” We have a new category for such articles, titled Baltimore romance. Posts tagges under this category will likely be more of a meta look at the life of Baltimoreans as we attempt to find love, partnership, and, occasionally, a fatty mo slam pig that would be a 0 on the binary scale.
    This afternoon we’ll be getting back to Baltimore events with our Bohero of the week!

  3. Thank you Rolandparker for being our first “Angry Reader”. Maybe we’ll run into eachother at Eddie’s and buy 5 dollar bananas, then maybe we’ll get a frappucino to wash down our Xanax (thx Tuxedo Pharmacy). I plan on passing out in one of the cozy chairs in the Children’s Bookstore (after playing with their wooden train set).

    Srsly hart u Roland Parker thx 4 reeding our Bl0g.

  4. I can tell just by reading that Rolandparker is a zero. Take another lap around Gilman’s track

  5. Hambones&Hooknasties

    Way to take a rating system that has been used and abused for 50 years and repackage it as your own broriginal idea, chief. The 0-10 system was instituted to determine winners. Who’s slore was hotter? Who got the short, fat, acne-ridden end of straw? There must be a way to determine whose game was on point. I would assume this posting comes from a Gilman alum, judging by the inability to pull anything above a 4 and thus needing to level the playing field.

    Perhaps you should take some remedial classes with the tree-humpers over at Friends; it would appear the asphalt at Gilman has done quite a number on your higher processing centers.

    Bohs and Os ought to be a font of useful information and exquisitely amusing posts, not an outlet for whatever mental diarrhea your bro Chad had last week.

    C’mon Son.

  6. haha…
    fantastic…but this applies more to the “are you in or out” situation…
    but i was writing more on the relationship possibilities rather than just getting in and out of there…
    good post though

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