The SNGF Contract

As I was sitting on my couch after last Sundays loss and a weekend of overindulgence I was overwhelmed, as I am on most Sundays, with a terrible self-loathing feeling. As every man knows the single remedy for this feeling is the consolation that can only come from a girlfriend. There is nothing more comforting after a weekend of debauchery then sitting yourself on the couch with a lovely lady and popping in the latest romcom.

The dilemma lays in the fact that come Friday after a grueling week of work this is the last thing that you want to do. This creates the cyclical issues that have plagued relationships for centuries. Every guy wants a girlfriend on Sunday while most do not on Friday and Saturday.  Upon further reflection I realized that this not only creates a weekly struggle in life but a similar cycle on a grander scale. The serial daters out there seem to date when they are down on life. This could be caused by plenty of situations. Maybe it happens to be a particularly cold winter, a bad Raven’s season, rough month at work. As I continued to ponder this conundrum (probably entirely too much) the simple solution hit me like a tackle from Ray Lewis. Why, in our progressive society, can’t two people come to a mutual understanding regarding Sundays and the terms of a relationship? Andd BOOM the concept of the Sunday night girlfriend was created.

The easiest, if not the most romantic way to think about the concept of the Sunday night girlfriend is by comparing it to a mutually beneficial legal contract forged between two consenting parties. The male party is responsible for providing a comfortable atmosphere for the romcom, for purchasing the Chinese takeout and pretending to listen/care about the drama filled weekend that the female party had. The female party is responsible for consoling the male party on the subject of fights, property losses, or sporting team travesties that may have taken place over the weekend. Bonuses should be rewarded for any Sunday GF pro that additionally gives out backrubs or brings small offerings. It should also be duly noted that a SNGF relationship does not constitute cheating and may be a perfect cure for the long distance relationship. On Monday morning the two parties go their separate ways and reconvene the following Sunday evening.

So the next Sunday any of you fickle love birds out there are feeling down on life consider the full potential of the SNGF contract. Also, for any women out there reading this who find that they are feeling lonely this Sunday just leave your number in the comments and we can make this happen.

When I am able to execute my first SNGF contract I will write another post covering the experience.

SNGF Graph

The red bar indicates that on Sundays, one's desire to have a girlfriend is a 10 (on a scale of 1-10)


2 responses to “The SNGF Contract

  1. the graph also tracks self-loathing

  2. Pingback: Sorry MNF Viewers « Boh's and O's

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