Bohero of the Week

calstatEach Friday Bohs and O’s will announce the Bohero of the week.  The award will go to the person or people whose actions that week most embody the true spirit of Baltimore.  So get out there and do something for Baltimore and you may just find yourself as the Bohero of the week.

The Boheroes of the week go to the four young gentlemen from Essex who stole the Cal Ripken #8 statue from the plaza in front of Camden Yards.  At first I assumed the four gentlemen had stolen the statue to remind the Orioles that they need to forget about their gloried past and focus on the troubled present.  This is similar to what George Costanza (Body-Suit Man) did to the Yankees when he dragged their World Series trophy behind his car in the parking lot.  This act would have been admirable in itself, but I soon learned there was so much more to this story that truly earns these fine Baltimoreans Bohero of the week.

The night of the theft went something like this.  After watching the Orioles lose pathetically to the Red Sox 10-0 on September 8th at Fenway the four devoted Orioles fans decided that the fools in the warehouse did not deserve to have this statue if they were going to continue to run our beloved Orioles into the ground.  The Boheroes drove their pickup to Camden Yards, carefully kicked the statue off of its mount and gently flung it into the bed of the truck.

They would have gotten away with this noble act had they not gotten into an argument in Patterson Park.  Assuredly this argument occurred because our four Boheroes spotted some bandwagon Red Sox fans vandalizing the park.  Of course they could not drive by and let this happen so they parked the truck and an altercation ensued.  This altercation would have clearly ended with the Baltimorean on top, but unfortunately the Baltimore Police, accompanied, by the most obnoxious and power-hungry of the Orioles ushers arrived to break up the fight.  They gave each of the Red Sox fans $100 and free tickets to Camden Yards every time the Red Sox are in town.  They gave the Orioles fans a ride down to Central Booking.

Our young Boheroes did not let this deter them.  With a slight nudge from a Baltimore City judge the four devoted O’s fans decided to give back to their community by doing community service around the city.  Even more generous was their decision to give back to the Orioles Organization.  Between the four of them they elected to give the Orioles $10,000 this offseason.  They asked for their generous donation to go towards signing a washed up veteran free agent who will do nothing but strike out, complain and embarrass the Orioles.  The Orioles front office was thrilled with their decision and announced that this was exactly what they had planned to do with the money in the first place.

To all you young Baltimoreans out there, look up to these Boheroes because one day it could be you that is earning recognition for being a great citizen, a true Orioles fan, and a strong Boh drinker.  Baltimoreans, we can’t wait to see what act of Boheroism you will think up next!


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